


Who Do I Miss the Most?

by Malcolm Reynolds (FanficbyLee)



Category: Firefly, Serenity
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-10-26
Updated: 2005-10-26
Packaged: 2017-11-05 02:27:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/401441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanficbyLee/pseuds/Malcolm%20Reynolds





	Who Do I Miss the Most?

Malcolm Reynolds  
Firefly/Serenity  
Word Count: 503  
Rating: PG language  
[](http://deviant-muses.livejournal.com/profile)[ **deviant_muses**](http://deviant-muses.livejournal.com/)  
SPOILER WARNING – DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN SERENITY

Didn’t have much time for grievin’, seems like we never do. Revenge, getting’ the gorram Alliance back for once again killin’ a whole ruttin’ camp full of innocent people had gotten my blood to boiling again. That man had been a rock for me. Someone that I could go an’ talk to, no matter how fucked in the head I had gotten. When he talked to me, sometimes I even caught myself starting to believe that there might still be something out there watchin’ over us. But now, with his blood smeared on my cheeks like war paint, I knew that it was all lies. If there was a Lord, I’d have hoped that the bastard would have looked over Shepherd Book, but damned if he didn’t turn his head again. For someone who was supposed to be all seein’ and all knowin’ you’d think the Lord would have noticed all those innocents at Haven and our other bolt holes sufferin’ for protecting River Tam.

Not sure if the Operative knew it, but his talk about me not bein’ a heartless, soulless, Reaver is what gave me the idea to pretend to get River to Miranda to rattle the cage of whatever it was that the Alliance was willin’ to murder so many people who weren’t even involved with to hide. I know I wasn’t thinkin’ clearly when I shot that Purple Belly pilot when he tried to surrender to us. Way I saw it was, Book thought he killed him, so I might as well finish up a good man’s work.

It wasn’t until we were underway with the bodies of half a dozen miners bolted to the front end of the Serenity that I knew just how badly I was going to miss that man. As much as she tried to be my conscience, Zoe would never tell me before the fact that I was about to do wrong. Book, never had no trouble telling me when I was crazier than River. He’d have been tellin’ me that I desecrating their memories, or maybe he wouldn’t. He did tell me to believe, and to fight for what I knew was right. Right now, doin’ the right thing meant taking all that was near and dear to me in the ‘Verse and putting them in the jaws of the dragon, and praying that it figured we was one o’ it’s own.

Shepherd Book had a past, one that he never would have a chance to tell me about now. No more nights drinkin’ and chattin’ while he’d throw me little tidbits that’d get me all curious. Now the book was closed. I’d never find out who he was and why he’d chosen the shepherd’s path. I was goin’ to make them pay for that.

I’d told Inara that she’d know when I was back in the war. I wonder if she’d figured it out that by destroying Haven and the Shepherd that I was back in the trenches for good this time. 


End file.
